Dominika Visy
OPHELIA INFATUATED/OPHELIA CRIES A WATERFALL
Take pity on the poor Ophelia!
Her stomach’s cramped, her head is dizzy
Alas! She’s infatuated.
Haunted and tormented by her vain desire,
She takes shelter in the soothing darkness
And all through the night she cries a waterfall.
She sleeps not, and dreams awake
Of the prince who left his mark, then,
On her neglected heart.
In the deadliest of heat she would be freezing
But for his embrace
And her kiss-thirsty lips no nectar can sate.
But the prince is aloof,
And love will never rage in him
Like a hurricane!
Ophelia sees her stillborn hope
Buried and snatched from her heart,
And she, too, longs to rest
In a shallow grave.
​
THE KISS OF THE FROG WOMAN
Millions of princes I have met,
Their eyes of sapphire-spark
And hair of noble gold.
And millions of princes I have kissed,
Silk-smooth lips
And sweet ambrosia.
But there comes a flash, an ominous thunder
And the glorious moment collapses
No dream remains, no lust,
No prince.
– They have all turned to frogs
One by one, over the years.
And now these millions
Jump around in my garden
Their skin rough and cold and wet
Oh, what have I done? Why have I made this idle lot?
Unsparing mirror, I turn towards you
Reveal the key to this mystery.
…
Oh! But I outfrog them all!
I am, myself
The Mistress of all frogs!
​
SPRINGTIME (IM)PERFECTION
In the honey-laden, balmy air
A cheeky breeze plays with my messy hair
To a feathered choir’s joyful ode.
With delight, I take off my coat.
Golden warmth tickles my ivory arms.
Gardens abound in floral charms.
Beaten by the fresh, bright sky,
The gloomy winter whispers goodbye.
When Springtime reigns over rich and poor,
What more could my restless heart long for?
– Only love.
​
GRIEF
On a sleepless night I sought you with betrayed hope.
I called you with feverish despair
My heart burnt with eternal longing.
But bony fingers silence my throat:
Their icy touch cuts like a sharpened blade.
Bloodless lips chant their curse of doom.
And in the choking darkness, only the million eyes of loneliness answer my gaze.
I whisper a wordless prayer to the dark-clad master known as grief.
​
Oh, let not the sun triumph over the moon!
Let this be life’s final night
Before an eternal night.
Let everything melt and fall to dust
Let us all lose our shape and voice and thought!
Let nothing remain
But the overwhelming darkness.
The only comfort.
Let me sink into a careless nothingness
And let the night’s velvet blanket cover my shaking shoulders.
Let me find eternal relief
In a nightless sleep.
​
IS THAT LOVE?
I wander down the roads of Neverland
And wonder: what is love?
A bear-man with a canvas sack walks towards me.
What does he bring? Is it love?
The wind whispers Chinese proverbs, but I do not listen.
Is that love?
A scarecrow tosses up a coin and then goes to drink.
Is that love?
A greying toy monkey gives me a rotten banana.
Is that love?
Two squirrels waltz and a fox observes, smoking his pipe.
Is that love?
The angel and the devil on my shoulders give up and make love instead.
Is this love?
A cloud is eating candy-floss. It won’t cry tonight.
Is that love?
Knives are tickling me, and I am married to eternal pain.
That is love.
​
ROUTINE
Despair has engulfed you
But the world is standing still.
Let’s do the laundry now.
Has this spot been washed away?
There’s one which never will.
Let’s not think about that.
How’s the roast chicken?
It will be ready soon.
Unlike…
You don’t care about that!
You’ll go and hang the clothes.
And you won’t think about
What else you’d like to hang.
Don’t you have to study?
Or just run through the lines
With your wand’ring eyes.
Your mind is too full of thoughts
To focus and comprehend.
It’s dinnertime already!
A slice of apple pie?
It will last for some days.
You don’t have to share it now.
And like a cold robot
Or a zombie without a heart,
You get through every day.
It’s only in the dark
That your wound open up,
And blunt pain torments you.
Warm tears, through your untouched cheeks,
Fall to your unkissed lips.
Even the soothing dreams
Neglect and betray you.
You roll and toss about
In endless agony
Until the morning comes
And you wear your mask again.
​
OF LOVE THAT HAS TO END
Why did we try,
Why did we endeavour to build
A shelter on quicksand?
Was it really no more than lust?
An impersonal desire?
Were we not, are we not
Made of flesh and blood?
Or are we false?
Are we ephemeral visions,
The mirages of hope we cannot hold?
Sand that runs through our finger,
A fleeing butterfly?
Is there love?
Kinship between soul and soul?
Or is it just the body
That lives and longs and needs?
What is the use of
Wandering further?
Love is nought.
Love is false.
Love must be forgotten.
Only lust survives.
But now even that is dead.
​
LIE INTO MY ARMS
Lie into my arms
Just lie.
Don’t move.
Don’t ruin the moment.
Hear my heartbeat?
That’s your music.
I can hear yours.
That’s my melody.
Let’s play a duet.
Don’t ruin the moment.
Just play a duet.
​
THE UNNAMEABLE
J ust a joke of a man I see.
A n angelic mirage
C onstructed by an empty heart.
O h, how beautiful he was!
B ut a beast behind his beauty!
​
APOLLO'S SON
On flaming Pegasus’ back,
He galloped into my heart
And, slashing the misty dark
He became my dawn.
He, Apollo’s son,
The great conqueror
Defeated me with his mighty arsenal:
The sun-crowned noble head
And the rascal’s smile,
The depth of dark chocolate-eyes
So tranquil and benign
And the honey heart
Beneath the impish charm.
With delight would I resign
And follow him to the Olympian peak.
I’m trapped by the whirlpool of desire
And fooled by love’s fairy dust.
Thus, sorrow strikes me
With rocks hurled against my heart
When another name lingers on his lips
And another face engulfs him in heat.
​
LOVE'S DECAY
It is still summer in its gilded glory,
But in the balmy heat lingers the breath of frost,
In your kiss the rancid taste of war,
On the blushing bloom a tint of rust,
On my floating heart the weight of doom.
Our home on a cloud
Is soon shattered by a storm
Because the echo of forever
Is nevermore.
My face in your mirror
Is no more than a blurred shadow.
Where green purity lay under our footsteps
Now runs the toxic flood of death.
Yesterday’s abundance
Is today’s puff of sand.
The world I once saw rosy and clear
Only exists now in the prism of a tear.
The idols we cast in stone
Now flee us without goodbye.
Beyond the bleak pedestals
Stretches the kingdom of decay.
The eternal truth reigns supreme:
Love waltzes keenly with misery,
But haughtily spurns hope and cheer.
​
MY HOTEL/FOR ONDREJ
My heart rivals the Grand Hotel.
It accommodates millions
For a few days, no more.
Then the bill is settled
And the room prepared
For another traveller.
I don’t favour wealth or rank.
I welcome any guest.
So, for a fickle moment,
A tour guide
Stayed in my heart.
His face was chiselled to the Eastern mould,
His tones were of the drying grass
Under the scorching sky,
His smile the wind
That blew all anxieties away.
My bus was delayed
But with him by my side
A hundred years passed like a minute.
I know how stupid,
How futile
This aimless verse is.
When distance stretches between us
Like a cruel desert
And I am no more
Than a nameless shadow
Tempted by the mirage of an oasis
But surrounded by the kingdom of drought.
I will never see you again.
And you will never care.
And that is fine.
For I am a poet.
So I’m always in love.
New flames flicker
Day in, day out.
But passion is a mask
That covers the sad truth.
What my heart screams for,
One steady beam,
One everlasting light,
I fear, I will never find.
​
UNLOVED BY MEN
Across the land where lightbeams dance,
Humans live in eternal cheer.
But I dwell in the field of darkness.
The sun fled in horror, and the moon is afraid to rise.
Sorrow and cares weigh me down
As I lie unpursued in the muddy grass.
The kingdom of nightmares has triumphed,
The rain falls and gathers into a sea.
And the water flows dim, velvet
And black as every heart.
A candle-flame flickers and dies.
Tide rises. The old wind stirs sometimes.
But otherwise all is still.
Silence echoes through the land,
And vain despair.
But the tide rises
And rises
And raises me
And as my worries swim away,
I float, and melt into the dark.
Seawater tickles my face
And unites with my tears.
I would shriek and beg for help.
But all is useless
And unseen
And unheard
And uncared for.
While I cry tonight,
You’ll be far away,
And you.
And you.
And you.
And you.
And you.
And you will sleep
While I weep.
I slept once
By your side.
But that was a millennium ago.
The heat of your hand still warms my fingers.
The balm of your kiss still rubs my lips.
But your arms do not shield me any more,
And my head no longer belongs on your shoulder.
I grieve as I recall every bygone ray of hope
Until the whirlpool lures me in,
And I dive into obscurity.
When my shadow-self will be a memory,
Crowds will gather at my grave
And gossip haunts forevermore
The ghost of The One Unloved by Men.
​
LOVE/NOTHING BUT
You ask: What is love?
Ha! Love is nothing,
Just…
…the bitterness of coffee lingering on your tongue;
The toxic nectar that urges you on.
…the transparent arrows of the stingy rain
That hit you when you stay out and dance.
…the senseless pit where alcohol pushes you
That you have chosen as your dwelling-place.
…the momentary pleasure of chocolate
That flees and leaves an everlasting mark.
…the heat of the August sun that scorches your face,
A yearlong desire for a few fleeting weeks.
…the whiff of tobacco that scratches your nose
And gives you comfort when despair strikes.
…a perpetual school where lessons are soon forgotten.
And exams are failed and always retaken.
…the dreams of freedom behind a prison door
That you fasten with the key in your hand.
This is love.
The greatest force on Earth, no more.
​
PERHAPS I LOVE YOU
~To N.~
I pray for you by every crucifix
And toast you in every old tavern.
I cry for you in every empty corner
And whisper your name on every windy hill.
But when you are near,
I hide behind a fan
And tell you there is someone else.
Always ‘someone else’.
Perhaps I love you, but I cannot yield.
Not because I do not dare to love,
But because I’m afraid to lose you.
And I would lose you, that is for certain,
Because loss is the end of every love.
​
FOUND AND LOST
~To K.~
Daylong I hunger, but food cannot sate me,
Daylong I shiver, but fire cannot heat me.
My desire, my wish, my all
Is the golden-haired, golden-hearted boy,
Mine for a moment
And gone forevermore.
Oh, warm, hazy red nights,
The orange flame in your eyes,
And me, white, raw,
Rarely marked by love.
But your soul kissed my soul,
And your heart embraced my heart,
And time stopped, and my love was born.
Until daylight invaded and hope vanished.
I fit into your arms
So well that I thought
I belonged there.
But I belong to no one.
Nowhere.
Never.
My love, my smooth, polished crystal heart
Vanquished by the world;
And distance,
Time,
Birth,
Place,
Mountain after mountain
Between us.
So I drift on, and long, and hunger
For love that cannot be;
Amor vincit nihil.
​
FALLING
Falling: in love
through a red sea
(rich and sweltering.)
for a promise
(expecting nectar and tasting vinegar),
and then
head first onto the ground,
(an earthquake on land and an explosion in my heart)
(dizzy, feverish,
and finally at home.)
​
RESTLESS VISITOR
I call thee, restless visitor,
Love,
Blessed curse,
Sweet serpent.
You will die.
You must die.
But before you go,
Empty your poison
Into my veins.
Deceive me, and
Make me believe
That I'm happy.
That I can be happy.
Bloom, cornflower,
Grow, chestnut-tree,
Spread, golden light,
Open, ruby rose.
Stay, summer night.
Sharpen, faint mirage.
Twist me,
Turn me,
Shake me,
Roller-coaster.
Rage inside me,
Hurricane.
Descend,
Mighty rain.
Lift me,
Muddy flood.
And let me float.
And float
And float.
And then
Rest evermore
In a corner
In my heart.
​
THE MORNING AFTER
Your fingers slipping out of my hands,
Your lips chilling my forehead,
The tightening knot of your necktie,
A torn button in the ashes of the bonfire.
Burnt breadcrumbs cascading on the floor,
The promise of winter creeping through the door.
All whisper:
This is the morning after.
​
WINTER SONG
I sit by the embers of a bonfire
And watch the clouds as they convene,
Heavy with burdens they grudge to release.
The sky is dressed in steely blue
The wind hisses, and faded voices
Come and go, come and go.
Light flickers somewhere
Far on the horizon,
And yonder the black shadow
Of a church tower.
But this is a promiseless night
Of a promiseless life.
The laughter of the un-cursed,
Brighter than the sun itself,
Forever echoes in my ears.
But my fingers grasp the icy wind
And my knees bang on frozen mud.
I invoke the snow to bury me
And let me sink into its embrace
And catch me, and save me from the frosty morn.
But no answer comes. No comfort.
Only the blanket of midnight.
That falls on me as I lie
With eyes wide open,
Dried tearless by the unfeeling wind,
Lips frozen in prayer,
Heart waning,
And waiting,
Forever waiting for a better spring
Since your departure.
​
THIS SIDE OF THE MOON
On this side of the moon,
When evening rushes in,
I don the guise of a huntress
And march, across dead leaves
And dead dreams
Into stuffy bedrooms
And obscure pubs
And ice-cream parlours
And tequila bars
Though I know you aren't there.
The half-darkness promises noble preys
But morning falls on overripe boys
Who do not merit a mere blotch
Of my overflowing ink.
On this side of the moon,
Lips kiss while souls lie in boredom
And bodies mingle, but hearts never unite.
So my neglected heart
Wraps itself into your memory,
And my lips, frozen in feigned smile,
Swallow a waterfall of tears.
On this side of the moon
I will miss you until my final day.
And on the other side of the moon?
Do you remember the taste of my kiss,
The warmth of my hand,
The shade of my eyes?
Do you ever dream about me,
Or lie awake,
Asking what could have been?
Or is my heart too far away
On this side of the moon?
​
​ WHEN LOVE IS A GOODBYE
I am.
And you are.
But we aren't. And we won't be. And we can't be.
But not because 10000 miles stand guard between us,
And not because the bricks that built our childhood
Were cut from different stones.
No. The unyielding wall that keeps us apart
Is a fine, fragile, invisible fabric woven from your dreams
And perfumed with your sweetness.
​
You are a ship waiting to anchor,
I am a rock that falls and starts an avalanche.
You are a flower longing to release its seeds,
I'm a leaf that courts the storm.
You'd lie into my arms wanting them to rock you,
But my swift hot blood would rise and drown you.
Sometimes love is the warmth of two joined hands,
Or the rainbow spark of two lips as they touch.
Sometimes love fortifies the future,
Sometimes it defeats the past.
But sometimes love must be a goodbye
To save us from the ever-looming fall.
And I know, though my heart cannot grasp it,
To let you be,
I must let you go.
​
TO LET YOU GO
My imagination sits me atop the universe
And conjures legions to love me.
But when I was browsing through your photos,
My imagination could not make me appear there.
That's how I knew I had to let you go.
​
SHIELD YOUR HEART
Shield your heart before I break inside
Shield your heart before I claim my place
Shield your heart before I kill all joy
Shield your heart before I steal your night
Shield your heart before there's no one else
Shield your heart before there's nowhere else
Shield your heart before it's too late
Shield your heart before there's no escape
Shield your heart before my curse taints you
Shield your heart before you fall in love
​
FRAGMENTS I.
There was a yesterday.
There will be a tomorrow.
Yesterday you weren't here.
Tomorrow you won't be here.
But today I mourn.
I mourn what I couldn't lose.
I weep over the match blown out by the wind before it could light a bonfire.
I curse the rooster's shriek that aborts a shaping dream.
I kneel by the shards of my heart and pick you out,
Like you pick the bits of meat from a bone to silence an unsatisfied hunger.
I know that this is just another farewell, another stamp in my passport.
I passed through your heart, I stayed for a fortnight. Or so.
Now the road calls, and the broad night, and the legions of unconquerable hearts,
Just another image to develop in my darkroom.
Just another poem whispered into the dark.
​
PITY THE POET
Pity the poet who gives and gives again,
In vain, in vain again.
And gives more than gold - she gives eternity
To miserly muses who stoop not to reciprocate.
Pity the poet who dares and dares again
To love and love again,
Overdosing on the poison that doesn't kill,
In pursuit of a land that doesn't exist,
A time that never comes,
A dream stillborn,
A hope hallucinated.
And in the end a poet is in pain, in pain again,
So she knows she's alive, alive again.
Pity the poet who falls and falls again,
And cries and cries again,
Then dips her pen in the tear-soaked mud,
And writes and writes again,
And freezes midnight into a song,
Sorrow into a brush-stroke.
Pity the poet who lies
Alone, alone again
Tossing in agony, screaming for death
Till the night resigns.
And when morning rises again,
A poet will love and love again,
In vain, in vain again.
​
I DON'T WANT TO​
I don't want to speak words tonight,
Or say who I am, and who I am not.
I don't want to shout my life story to be heard above other stories.
I don't want to run from 'why don't yous' and chase 'if onlys'
I don't feel like feigning a smile until my muscles burn.
'Why not me' is a dangerous path,
And 'why not me' is my lullaby.
I know I'm not the Mediterranean.
I am the Arctic.
My life is a walk in the rain.
But it's not 'that' kind of rain.
This is not a meadow, and it's not summer.
This is the city, and I'm wearing my best shoes.
I don't want to be someone else's someone else.
I'll be yours if you ask.
I was theirs, but they never asked.
Tonight I just want to lie in someone's arms,
Though I'm not sure if I want to lie in your arms, or his, or his.
Maybe it doesn't matter. I just want to speak the silent language of love,
And write a long, long history.